My PCP once told me, “You stress too much. You look like a kid from Sudan—malnourished.”

 

Then he asked me, “Do you know where Sudan is? Do you know who George Clooney is?”

 

I answered, “It’s in the Middle East, and I don’t know who George Clooney is.”

 

Surprised, he replied, “You don’t know who he is? Sudan is in Africa.”

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I am Indian American. I could reference Bollywood actors, Disney stars, and maybe Britney Spears around 2008, along with some key politicians in the United States. But beyond that, I wasn’t deeply connected to American pop culture.

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Already feeling like I didn’t belong in this culture, I felt ashamed for not knowing the answers to his questions.

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The point is: I went to a doctor in a vulnerable position. I had gone through a series of traumatic events. I was depressed, my immune system was weak, and I was mentally exhausted because my life felt like it was falling apart left and right.

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My PCP sent me to a dentist and an infectious disease specialist. They didn’t notice anything abnormal. No labs were done. They suggested maybe SLE and told me to stop taking valacyclovir “like candy” because of its serious side effects.

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Eventually they said my deficiency was B12 and that was why I was having all these symptoms.

But a nervous system that is constantly aroused and on alert - like a bear is chasing you for months—definitely depletes nutrients, especially B12.

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As a pattern recognizer, I knew something deeper was going on.

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My health started deteriorating and I developed a mysterious illness after a series of traumatic events—on top of an already traumatic childhood.

 

There had to be a connection.

Why did I have B12 deficiency?
Why not the rest of my family?

I Googled day and night.

 

This was when I had just started undergraduate studies, long before I began learning medicine.

Eventually I came across a Wikipedia page stating that B12 deficiency can occur after traumatic events.

 

Ding. Ding. Ding.

 

That discovery became the beginning of my understanding of the mind–body connection.

Soon after, with no thanks to my PCP, I was intuitively led to a self-help book at Ross called Tapping the Power Within by Iyanla Vanzant.

 

Reading that book felt like a breakthrough.

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My life as I had known it no longer made sense, and I realized I had been constantly making myself feel wrong.

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One thing I started practicing immediately was deep belly breathing. Fifteen years later, I still breathe the way that book taught me.

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The book spoke about core beliefs at the subconscious level and the power of affirmations.

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Being exposed to this new way of seeing the world led me to care for myself differently. I started drinking more water and carrying a bottle with me everywhere.

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I was only 19 or 20 years old at the time. I knew about Ayurvedic medicine but had no knowledge of naturopathic medicine or trauma informed mind–body medicine.​

I also had a habit of not eating all day. Being at university, I made sure to start eating at least one meal at school and carried nuts and dried fruit with me.

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Around this time I began receiving intuitive guidance about practices that helped me stay grounded. One of the most important was shifting my attention from my head to my feet.

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Whenever I did that, I felt instantly better.

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This is a practice I still guide clients through today—to help them become more present and connect to the wisdom of their bodies.

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Soon after discovering Iyanla Vanzant’s work, I experienced a profound spontaneous spiritual awakening.

 

I was 20 years old, sitting by a pond outside my university where I often felt called to spend time.

Suddenly I had an in-body experience of oneness.

There are honestly no words that fully capture it.

I felt unconditional love and saw the same light in the trees, plants, bugs, and every living being around me.

 

I felt a deep trust in life.

 

Unfortunately, no one around me understood what I had experienced, and I didn’t find much information online at the time.

 

Over time, the intensity of that feeling faded as life continued.

Yet the knowing remained.

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Since that day, I have had one guiding intention: to live consciously in that state of connection.

 

Looking back, I see that experience as an initiation.

At that point in my life, I was slowly disappearing. I had lost the will to live.

That experience reminded me of my true nature and gave me the will to live fully, authentically, and thrive.

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In my early twenties, I still lacked many things: strong boundaries, emotional maturity, and self-awareness. I also didn’t yet understand what it meant to be an empath or a highly sensitive person.

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At 23, I became obsessed with trying acne products for mild whiteheads. I used a strong salicylic acid product that destroyed my skin barrier and caused my entire face to break out.

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Around the same time, I had started taking B12 and drinking more milk based on my PCP’s recommendations - which I later learned can worsen acne.

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My skin barrier collapsed, and the acne became cystic.

 

This was one of the most desperate periods of my life.

 

The acne continued throughout naturopathic medical school. I tried everything - diets, naturopathic treatments, acupuncture- yet nothing seemed to help.

Eventually I developed orthorexia - anxiety around food.

 

By the end of medical school I was also experiencing chronic fatigue syndrome, something that unfortunately is common among medical students and new doctors.

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There was a moment during school when I briefly consulted an elder professor after class. She looked at my tongue and suggested I see a counselor because she believed I had emotional stagnation in my body, which she saw reflected as a purple tongue.

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The counselor happened to also be an ND and professor at our school. At the time, I didn’t think counseling could help me, so I decided it wasn’t worth the investment.

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Looking back now, that was exactly what I needed.

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Today I know my health issues were deeply connected to emotional, mental, and soul-level wounds.

Once I began addressing those layers, the physical interventions - diet, supplements, herbs - finally started working.

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Before that, even something as simple as magnesium could shut down my nervous system.

 

At one point, upon inquiry, a psychic friend told me she received a message that I had an autoimmune syndrome and that I already knew how to heal it as a naturopathic doctor.

 

That message encouraged me to trust myself.

 

I invested in food sensitivity testing and followed the results carefully. My skin began clearing, and something I wasn’t even focusing on - my chronic fatigue - lifted within a month.

 

Six years later, I continue to feel lighter, vital, and have clear skin, while also doing deep healing work.

 

My goal is to maintain vibrant health even while living in a world full of environmental exposures and imperfect conditions.

 

So far, I’ve been able to keep my skin clear and maintain vibrant energy even with small exposures to certain foods or chemicals.

 

But the real work has been internal.

 

Over the years I’ve peeled back hundreds of layers of emotional and spiritual walls.

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I regularly work with a therapist, a shamanic healer, and practice meditation and psychedelic-assisted healing. I nourish my body well and remain conscious of my thoughts, emotions, and relationships.

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Today I feel emotionally, spiritually, and mentally more mature.

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As a result of listening to my body, I now live my life more fully and authentically.

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What this journey showed me

My health issues were never just physical.

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They were invitations to reconnect with my body, my emotions, my soul, and my true nature.

 

That realization ultimately became the foundation of the work I now do, which is guiding others through their own healing and remembering.